Happily
unhappy
You take an inventory of your life {and on paper} – it looks great!
Maybe even outstanding?
But — there is something missing.
There’s a hole, a lack, a nagging feeling that there is more “out there” to experience. You lay in bed at night wondering “what if THIS is as good as it gets?” – and then you judge + beat yourself up for it in the morning.
And here’s the WORST part: you shame yourself about it. All of it.
You are unfulfilled and ashamed to admit it. So you stay quiet, and stuck and Happily Unhappy.
Personally, as I started untangling myself…
I came to realize that I was a conglomerized, polished, extremely socially acceptable version of a woman with a very “successful life”. And in that was there was very little room for me. The real me.
The real me was playing small and quiet, helping to keep everyone else comfortable. The balls in the air. The train on the tracks. And Spoiler Alert: I wasn’t happy + I wasn’t fulfilled. If anything I felt scared. There was this inner panic that looped the thought of dying before I really lived. It gripped me and I knew I was the only person who could “right the ship”.
So I was faced with a choice. I knew I could stay in my “pleastanville” and NO ONE would question me. I could stay in this beautiful life I had created, and there I would die – long before my spirit left my body. And I couldn’t choose that life…
Happily Unhappy was no longer enough – so I chose me, instead.
“And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
– Anaïs Nin
Now that I am really anchored into what I truly want…
…making choices about my next best steps is simple + freeing. I feel unburdened by the confusion that came with not being in alignment with who I truly am.
I’m an analogy girl – so I would describe it like this: Before I got really curious about why I was “happily unhappy” it felt like I was shooting arrows at targets in a dark room. I knew there were targets to hit but I wasn’t decisively choosing which ones to aim for, and I couldn’t see them anyhow.
Now I stand at the archery range, I consciously choose my target and have the ability to see what I’m aiming at. Hitting your targets takes practice no matter what – but if you aren’t clear on what you want you could hit 100 targets and never truly be happy.
So much in my life has gotten clearer now that I’M clear.
It’s easy now to see what relationships in my life are truly beneficial, and which ones I’m ready to let go of.
Business + career decisions are simpler, too. When you’re aligned with your core values, with what’s truly important – it becomes apparent really quickly what doesn’t mesh. And the more you make choices based on what you really want, the easier it becomes to be discerning about what that looks like. It becomes second nature. Easy. And who doesn’t like easy?
Clarity creates the room needed to let go of what is no longer serving you, so what you truly desire can come in.
If any of this is hitting home for you – let’s TALK.
There are so many ways through and out of this stuckness.
Feeling alive, fullfilled, happy. Clear. ALL totally possible….You just have to WANT it.